Reality Check

So, I admit it, I'm enjoying America. I like having soft hair. I like going five minutes up the road to Wegmans to buy any kind of food I want. I like paved roads and speaking the local language (annoying Western NY "a's" included). I like my comfy bed and going outside at night without a flashlight and not having to remember my malaria pills every day.

But a particular conversation popped into my head the other day. It wasn't a conversation, really. More like a rebuke. Once I was with the Wrights and one of the kids was talking about this or that thing that they missed from America, and their dad Bob said very bluntly that grumbling and complaining is sin. Don't think about all the nice things you miss in America. Don't complain, "well, we wouldn't have to deal with THIS in America!" Just don't. If you're where God wants you to be, be thankful. Don't focus on the negatives. Grumbling is one of those respectable sins that we all do -- but that sin sent Jesus Christ to the cross just as much as the sin of murder.

I do love America. I'm glad I'm here. But I've realized over the past few weeks, as lots of people have asked me, "Do you think you could actually LIVE over there? Like, forever?" I can say YES and really mean it. America is not my home. Just last week I was beginning to steep myself in the whole "American dream" thing again -- imagining living in this country forever, and all the things I'd want. But it didn't take long for me to realize what I was doing -- how materialistic and self-centered that mindset is. I don't think God planned for me to live the American dream. I don't really want it. I WANT to be in Africa. I love being there. And even some of the things that from an American standpoint would seem like losses there are actually a blessing. Bad roads mean you stay close to home which means you build a great sense of community. Living simply is a relief. Not feeling a need to keep up with the Joneses is fantastic. Even the freedom to walk around without makeup and not having to iron nice clothes - it's freeing :)

Maybe I will end up living in America, and that's fine. But I don't ever want to fall into the American Dream trap. I don't ever want to start believing the ads on TV that say your life is incomplete without the new cool thing on the market. I would much rather live in a hut with almost no possessions and really LIVE, than live in a nice house full of all kinds of gadgets, and be a shell of the person God created me to be.

Those are just my disjointed thoughts.